You are here

Family Talk Blog

Making Resolutions Work

Dr. Paul | December 31, 2012 |
 
New year resolution

Amid the confetti and streamers of New Year’s Eve come 2013’s resolutions. While the dark, wet Northwest winter suggests a slower, quieter pace, this year’s self-improvement quest will be in high gear this week.

Despite the cynicism associated with New Year’s resolutions, this inclination is healthy. It expresses the human need to move beyond one’s self—to grow and develop in new ways. Now is a good time to take stock and establish goals for the coming year.

I like to look over the last year and review my successes and failures. I close my eyes and visualize the year, as if... Read More

School Violence: I am Heartsick

Dr. Paul | December 17, 2012 | 11 comments
 
Woman mourning

I am heartsick.

I can barely read the news reports this morning describing, in nightmarish detail, the grisly events that unfolded Friday morning. I want to turn off my Ipad, get under the covers, and run away from this awful reality.

But I can’t.

This tragedy is like a tsunami crashing into the lives of parents and children in Newtown, CT, destroying their carefully constructed world, their sense of security, and their hopes and dreams. The crashing waves are spreading out across the land, thousands of miles away, knocking us down too.

Every parent wants to... Read More

The Difficult Decision About Assisted Living

Dr. Paul | December 12, 2012 | 13 comments
 
Pompano Beach

Last weekend, I visited my 90-year-old mother in Florida (that is her picture on the right). And yes, it was sunny and warm! (I know, you are all green with envy!)

This visit was different though. My mother and one of her best friends have decided to move to an independent living complex with congregate dining. My mother, my aunt (89 years old), her friend Shirley (94 years old) and I went on a field trip to tour the facility (www.foresttrace.com). We met with the leasing director, took a tour of the apartments, and had dinner in their... Read More

It's That Time of Year Again - The Holidays Part 1

Dr. Paul | December 10, 2012 | 3 comments
 
Woman and child holiday baking

I can always tell when the holidays are around the corner—drivers start to take out all of the slack! Gone are the polite Northwesterner’s who always let someone into their lane. Beware of those four-way stops! It’s everyone for themselves!

For many adults, the holidays are a mixture of sweet, stressful, and sad moments. It’s always helpful to consider how to make this holiday season sweeter for yourself and your loved ones. Below is my recipe.

The Stressful

Family obligations, what to get Uncle Bill this year, not enough money, kid’s constant demands, holiday cards,... Read More

Short Shelf Life of New Love

Dr. Paul | December 05, 2012 | 3 comments
 
Bored couple

A recent article in the New York Times (Sunday December 2, 2012, New Love: A Short Shelf Life by Sonia Lyubomirsky) cites a study of 1761 people who were married for 15 years or longer. They found that newlyweds experience a major happiness boost that lasts about two years, and then they return to their previous level of happiness. Oh well, the author suggests, the honeymoon has to end sometime!

How frequently I hear from couples who have been married for seven years (remember the seven year itch?) lamenting the loss of passion they felt when they first fell in love. They wonder—“Am... Read More

Overcoming Physical Limitations

Dr. Paul | December 03, 2012 | 4 comments
 
Physical limitations

Ultimately, our body will betray us.

Our minds are without substance. Thoughts, ideas, and judgments spring forth because we have brains—but our mental activities do not have form. However, our muscles, bones, organs, and skin are definitely physical! And like all material things, they will ultimately break down. This we know for sure, although we don’t like it!

Thankfully, and hopefully, this dissolution happens slowly over many years. When that happens, we have time to adjust to the inevitable changes that occur.  But, this is not always the case, and we may find ourselves... Read More

Are You Worried?

Dr. Paul | November 28, 2012 | 1 comment
 
Worried man

Last week my youngest daughter was visiting for the holidays and she bent my ear about her worries. In order to pursue a nurse practitioner degree, she took out major student loans. She shared with me her apprehension—how would she pay them back? How would her loans impact her quality of life? Would she be able to afford to have children?  And the list went on. I listened—and I could hear her angst.

Earlier in the week, a teenage student told me about her worries. She had experienced humiliation and embarrassment in middle school because of a health problem. Now in High School she... Read More

How Do You Motivate the Unmotivated Young Man?

Dr. Paul | November 26, 2012 | 14 comments
 
Young man playing video games

Recently, I have been hearing from many parents concerned about their 17-21 year old sons.

“Joe doesn’t seem to be motivated to complete his college applications!” his mom complained. Bill, in this second year of college, has no clue what to major in. Tom, finished up community college last summer. He has no idea what he wants to do. Max finished college last summer—living at home, his idea of job hunting is 180 degrees different than his parents. He stays up late playing video games and surfing the net and gets up late. His parents don’t know what to do.

On the other hand,... Read More

Dark Night of the Soul

Dr. Paul | November 19, 2012 | 3 comments
 
Black and white sad boy

Recently a friend of mine, Sarah, described her descent into hell.  She found herself becoming increasingly anxious and overwhelmed. She went to numerous doctors and felt that she would never get better. She started drinking and soon was out of control. Finally, suicidal and drunk, she was admitted to a chemical dependency program.

During this six month period, she felt that she descended into a state of total despair. After her 28 day program, and with the support of her friends and family, she slowly found her way out of her despondency. 

Back to her job as a teacher, she... Read More

Forming Adult Friendships

Dr. Paul | November 14, 2012 | 5 comments
 
Group of adult friends

I frequently hear from adults in their 30’s and 40’s how difficult it is to form close friendships at this stage in their lives. Despite having scores of Facebook friends, work acquaintances, or adults met through their children’s play dates, it’s hard to develop the kind of bonds they formed in adolescence or in college.

Let’s face it; there are no friends like old friends.

I have two buddies from college who I am still in touch with over the last 40 years. We grew up together (so to speak) and we know each other in a way that is different than more recent friends.  But they... Read More

Pages